The one that got away

I'm experiencing a host of feelings I can't explain.

Jealousy, sadness, disappointment, & the eureka moment. I knew this would happen.

It's different when you think about things and when you talk to yourself about it. So I'm going to illustrate the whole situation to myself & justify how unnecessary my emotions are.

Firstly, he no longer feels like a person that is romantically possible.

Actually that's it. There are no secondly or thirdly. It's firstly & finally. Period.

I guess what I'm sad about is that I can't cheekily text him the way I used to & I can't ask him out anymore.

It's not that I can't though. I think it's better that I don't. & I won't. No girl likes another girl being too close to their boyfriend.

It's just sad that he is my closest guy friend. & I feel like this friendship will soon come to an end because he'll be too in love. Plus my avoidance.

But maybe this happened so I could completely drop the thought that we could be possible. 

I knew I said he is not romantically possible. But yknow, possible is not an absolute.

I feel happy for him though. Sincerely. I'll be happy for everyone who've found love.

I didn't cry like the first time when I saw a girl appear on his ig. I lost my appetite tho. Now it's me and my books. No more sad feelings or whatsoever!